


Sodium chloride is a valid medication

by littlemisstpk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Co-workers, Hinata is very thirsty, Hospital Pharmacy AU, M/M, Masturbation, POV Third Person Limited, Pining, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:30:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisstpk/pseuds/littlemisstpk
Summary: When Hinata Shouyou joins the pharmacy staff at Karasuno General Hospital, he finds his biggest challenge is learning to deal with Tsukishima Kei.





	1. Shouyou

**Author's Note:**

> Or, this is what kind of ideas I get when I wander the secret passages at my own ancient hospital while going about my business.
> 
> Shoutout to [Blueismybusiness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueismybusiness) for beta-ing and putting up with my stream of consciousness shenanigans, and helping to make this something I'm proud of.

Karasuno General Hospital once stood as the beacon of patient care, especially when it was built in the time directly after a near-global catastrophe. By the time that Hinata Shouyou entered the ranks of pharmacy employees over seventy years later, people were commenting on how “lived-in” the buildings looked—and that was being nice. But Shouyou silently agreed with Tsukishima that the buildings were dilapidated, after he looked up that word in the dictionary. The side effect of working in such conditions was that the staff were all chill, and that Shouyou felt a camaraderie with the other healthcare disciplines that he had not felt anywhere else.

His first month on the job taught him many hard lessons, including how to save expensive pharmacy machinery from flooding, that Kageyama was a pompous asshole who knew drug products better than dealing with people, and that Tsukishima was just as much of an asshole at times but could at least help in a crisis.

The first time that Tsukishima said something to Shouyou, it was to make a crack at his height and his relative inexperience in the technician role. He was understandably irritated, as Shouyou was well aware of his faults as an employee, and he simply did not like being reminded of it before he had a chance to prove himself worthy and have those faults broadcasted in front of a captive audience. It changed the day that Shouyou got a frantic call from his unit, where the nurse on the other end was freaking out enough that everyone in the pharmacy could hear the panic attack in progress about the major flood on the unit. The facade of the uncaring, cold person that Tsukishima had painstakingly cultivated ripped away in an instant as they ran full-tilt through the hospital, not caring about keeping the patients calm as they sped by. As the two of them reached the unit, Shouyou saw pure pandemonium as evacuations began under the direction of a dark-haired nurse (Akaashi, Shouyou thought), which were being undermined by the head nurse, Bokuto. With a quick glance to one another, Shouyou was able to communicate that he would take care of Bokuto while Tsukishima waded to the machine. Shortly after he heard the taller man call out that he had taken care of the first machine, Shouyou was able to finally calm down Bokuto, getting full control over the situation by the time that the switches on all three Pyxis units on the floor had been flipped.

In that moment, as Shouyou looked over at Tsukishima's muscles being defined by his wet clothing, he felt a sense of warmth radiating from within, making it so that the lingering cold from the now hip-deep pool of water that used to be his unit was no longer an immediate issue. Shouyou tried to be subtle, but instead caught Tsukishima's eye. It was when Tsukishima took off his glasses to wipe the water splashes from the lenses that he realized he might be in trouble. Despite the dark circles under Tsukishima's eyes and the fleeting comparison of the other man to a drowned animal, Shouyou couldn't help but be attracted to the asshole in front of him.

When Shouyou finally got home, he couldn't get the glorious image of a drenched Tsukishima out of his mind. The Tsukishima in his mind would look at him, sultry and condescending all at the same time, and Shouyou could only count his lucky stars that he lived alone, because trying to justify his new fascination with his co-worker was not something he was willing to explain. As Shouyou settled in on his couch, his imagination conjured Tsukishima as he started to lean in, until Shouyou could almost feel the breath in the junction between his neck and ear, sending shivers down his spine at the mere thought.

“What do you think I'd say if I found you like this?” The imaginary Tsukishima ghosted his hands above Shouyou’s arms, and Shouyou couldn't open his dress pants fast enough.

The image of water dripping off Tsukishima, coupled with the condescending insults led Shouyou to come faster and harder than he had ever done with just his hand, to the point where his cheeks flushed at the mere thought.

* * *

As time went on, Shouyou found that Tsukishima was occupying more of his thoughts than he ever expected. It started with noticing little quirks about what the taller man thought was funny and worth his time, culminating in seeing the asshole wearing his large, white headphones as he sat in the cafeteria during his break, making each time that Shouyou mixed a compound an exercise in wondering if Tsukishima would like the song he was listening to in order to keep the ghosts away in the lonely lab. He sang along at the top of his lungs to the most embarrassing song on his playlist, using it to scare the spirits away from his manufacturing lab while he worked. Complete with earbuds in his ears, Shouyou danced his way through incorporating diclofenac into the cream base the formula asked for, a tedious task on its own.

When Shouyou felt a soft tap on his shoulder, the metal spatula went flying through the air as he shrieked at an impossibly high pitch, right into Tsukishima's face. He paused for a moment to process the fact that the taller man's face was now covered with a primary ointment of unknown concentration, and Shouyou braced himself for the berating of a lifetime. Instead, Tsukishima let out a true laugh that caused him to double over with mirth. It briefly caused Shouyou to pause and take in the sight, as Tsukishima's features relaxed with the smile on his face, making the asshole even more attractive than he was before.

It was after Tsukishima handed Shouyou another formula sheet needed right away that he saw the spectacled man quickly wipe his face from the evidence of startling Shouyou, and he turned to walk away. Before Tsukishima left the lab, he turned and pointed to a spot on his cheek, then exited through the door. It was in the process of cleaning up the failure of a compound and looking into the mirror over the sink that Shouyou got an idea of why Tsukishima was laughing so much; he had gotten himself even worse with his handiwork.

As Shouyou washed his face and as much of his clothing that paper towel could handle, he allowed himself a chuckle at just what he had done. The white cream base had been splattered over his face and clothing in similar fashion to the last time that he had seen Kenma, and actually been on the receiving end of such a display. He couldn't help but let out a full laugh at the thought that Tsukishima got caught in the crossfire, and that he didn't get disgusted at Shouyou for the low-hanging joke on Shouyou’s face that any adolescent boy would be able to get. 

Shouyou's happy feeling remained until he saw that Tsukishima handed him the formula to one of the hardest products to make that Karasuno had on their formulary. Shouyou simply turned up his music and let his frustration out on the products needing to be mixed as he mouthed the worst curse words he could think of.

* * *

“But Kageyamaaaa, Tuesdays are the worst for food downstairs.” Shouyou deliberately extended the last syllable to take up the space of five simply because he knew it irritated the materials management technician.

“Dumbass, of course it's Mondays. Jerk.” Even though Kageyama didn't smile as he continued to type his third email of the day to their main supplier, it took a lot of practice for Shouyou to discern the difference between frowns: this one was mildly amused and not annoyed at all.

Shouyou couldn't miss the scoff that escaped from somewhere over on the other side of the unit dose shelving, and the snicker coming from the barely visible Yamaguchi from around the same corner. It didn't help that Yamaguchi tended to enable the worst behaviours in Tsukishima despite being a decently nice guy on his own, and that alone was enough to rile Shouyou's temper.

“What's it to you, Stingyshima? You barely eat as it is.”

“Unlike some of the lesser folks here, I am actually doing work, like this stat pass med, not arguing about which day is the worst for food in the cafeteria.” With a couple of clicks from the vials, and the sounds of a few stock bottles being jostled around, Tsukishima emerged from around the corner, taking his roll of medication in hand before leaning into Shouyou's space. “And anyway, it's Friday.”

Shouyou stood silent as Tsukishima left the pharmacy without another look back, leaving him behind with Yamaguchi. Now, Shouyou reasoned, Yamaguchi was not a bad guy, and he was certainly more capable of discretion than Kageyama. However, being in charge of the most secure part of the hospital gave him a power that Yamaguchi never failed to use in subtle ways for his own entertainment, such as subtly teasing Ennoshita and Tanaka dancing around each other as they picked up their narcotics from the vault.

He was jostled out of his reverie when Noya clapped a hand across Shouyou's back. It was refreshing for Shouyou not to have to crane his neck upwards to carry on with his fellow generalist, and shove the thoughts of Tsukishima and how willing he would be if the taller man took him on the counter that was barely at the height of Shouyou's hip, an awkward but workable height. Shaking his head, Shouyou listened in on the exuberant story that Noya was relating about Kiyoko, the pharmacy secretary, as he ripped his rolls to prepare for his morning delivery.

* * *

It was early on a weekend when Shouyou was not supposed to work when his comfortable routine was disrupted. This routine consisted of catching glances of Tsukishima from across the dispensary and trading the occasional barb,only to furiously jack it most nights after work, because he was stuck into the quagmire of feelings—a fact he was content to never share with anyone else. As his hand reached underneath the covers while imagining a sleep-mussed Tsukishima, Shouyou started to revel in the tingling that permeated from his core. The image of Tsukishima that Shouyou's mind had conjured ran his hands down Shouyou's sides until they reached where the smaller man had already started.

It was past the point of no return when Shouyou heard the tell tale buzzing of his phone coming from on top of the night stand. The imaginary Tsukishima dissipated in a flash, leaving Shouyou alone with a ringing phone and a too-hard dick. Groaning to himself, he picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Shouyou tried to hide his state of arousal by attempting to go for a gravelly just-woken voice appropriate for the early hour.

“Good morning, Hinata,” Tsukishima's voice sounded like strawberry sauce over ice cream, not helping Shouyou's situation at all, “Tanaka has called in sick, and you're the next person on the list. Can you come in? I can't work alone.”

As Shouyou's dick twitched at the thought of working with Tsukishima and only Tsukishima, it took over the more rational parts of his brain as he spoke again.

“Just give me a moment to shower, and I'll be right in.”

As Shouyou put himself under the hot spray, he let his imagination get the better of him, taking advantage of  the well worn memory of Tsukishima in a drenched dress shirt leaning over him and whispering in his ear.

“Don't take too long, I need you to come in.”

Shouyou only registered ‘come’ and he was there, left breathless against the shower stall wall. Feeling only slightly guilty, he quickly made his way through the rest of his routine, until he was faced with the tall, brick buildings of Karasuno General.

It was interesting to be in the venerable building when there were very few people around. Even though the complex was a hive of activity during the typical week day, despite the steady movement of clinics and services to the replacement facilities in preparation for the site’s demolition, the stories of ghosts and malevolent spirits latched onto Shouyou's active imagination. As he approached the pharmacy area, he found himself singing a nonsense tune about going to work in order to scare away any being that would disturb him as he went about his business.

When Shouyou swiped his ID card against the keypad to gain entry, he was greeted by Tsukishima wearing the most casual clothing he had seen on the other man thus far. The graphic tee sporting the Jurassic Park logo was paired with a simple, well-fitting pair of jeans that made Shouyou nearly salivate at the sight.

“I ran the list, I just need you to check it. I take top, and you take bottom?”

“I-I'll take bottom, yeah.”

While Shouyou knew rationally that Tsukishima was referring to delivering the required medication to the top floors of the inpatient wing versus the lower floors, he still couldn't help but fall into the double entendre that Tsukishima set up, and reveal his fantasies of the past several months. Shouyou looked at Tsukishima quirking his eyebrow upwards, and cracking a rare smile, making him question the subtlety of his crush on the other man. At least, Shouyou reasoned, even though Tsukishima was a troll, he didn't seem to be a bigoted one. He refused to get his hopes up and think that Tsukishima could be flirting with him for real, so he went about checking the work in front of him.

With everything delivered and the first major lull in the work begun, Shouyou finally realized that instead of only seeing the other man for half hour stints at a time with other people to distract him from his feelings, he was subjected to the full force of personality that was Tsukishima Kei. As Tsukishima turned on Netflix, he pointed to the crash carts and anaphylaxis kits that he had occupied his time with while waiting for Shouyou to actually arrive on site. The orchestral score filtered to his ears, and it was calming to look down at the list of replaced drugs and verify the contents against it. As he heard the roar of a dinosaur coming from the tinny computer speakers, Shouyou looked over to see a soft, relaxed smile on Tsukishima's face.

When Shouyou finished the work that was left him, a light bulb flashed within his mind. Finding his favourite office chair, he rolled over until he was close enough to touch Tsukishima's arm, but not so close as to be creepy. As he turned to the screen, where there was a man in a leather jacket making funny yet obvious comments, Shouyou looked at Tsukishima's face, and could have sworn that he saw a little bit of a bittersweet smile.

“So, Jurassic Park? I like the part where the dinosaurs eat the bad guys.”

“I pity the dinosaurs when that happens. They're going to get a massive case of indigestion. I don't think there's enough Gaviscon to deal with that shit.”

Shouyou let out a laugh, settling in to watch the movie comfortably in silence and the occasional comment.

As the movie and comfortable banter finished, Shouyou turned back to his own computer to check the machine server and what work they had ahead of them. The work itself was not hefty, and either one of them could make deliveries to the entire hospital in a reasonable amount of time, but Shouyou knew that his limbs held that heavy, tingling feeling that came with needing to move around, and he saw Tsukishima stretch in his seat behind him. While Shouyou moved to start picking the items coming off the list he had printed, he saw Tsukishima take the last couple pages and start picking the product themselves.

It was a dance that the two of them engaged in, moving gracefully around each other while avoiding collision. Shouyou did exert some self control as he went for a weird inhaler on one of the lower shelves, while at the same time Tsukishima went to grab a nasal spray off the top shelf. This allowed him to feel the slight radiation of body heat as Tsukishima entered into Shouyou’s nearly non-existent personal bubble, which in turn, made him think of Kageyama dancing in a hula skirt in order to keep his body under control. Shouyou suppressed a shudder at the thought. It really did make the time pass marginally quicker, and looking at the products that Tsukishima had picked, both of them had made notes about needing to go to the detached IV room to pick up the products that they both needed.

Shouyou idly wondered at who would be staffing the IV room as he packed up his cart for delivery. It couldn’t be Kenma, who seemed too excited for the newest video game, a hobby he had fallen easily back into as Shouyou withdrew from their friends-with-benefits arrangement, to simply being friends. As he poked the button to enter the elevator, he saw Tsukishima wait for the same one, all while wondering if it was Lev, and subconsciously bracing himself for the sheer amount of energy coming from the statuesque Russian.

With the elevator car reaching its destination with only a short stop at an empty diagnostic imaging floor that the elevator ghost insisted on making, Shouyou and Tsukishima found their way to the IV room. It inhabited a section of the hospital that used to be the domain of the dispensary and pharmacy in general before the machines took over, but Shouyou was glad for the extra room in their section several floors down.

As Tsukishima swiped open the door, Shouyou could see his face harden as he noticed Kuroo at the computer in the anteroom, listening to the most annoying music that Shouyou had ever been subjected to. Tsukishima quickly ducked into the secondary anteroom to where the stock bags were held, but it was not quick enough, as he cringed while Kuroo called out, “Tsukki! It’s been forever!”

Shouyou could see Tsukishima mouthing a few curse words to himself, before schooling his features to face the IV tech. “Kuroo, what a displeasure to see you.” Tsukishima threw the potassium chloride bags he had been gathering for the oncology unit into his bin with a little more force than was strictly necessary.

“A pleasure as always to deal with you, Tsukki. You didn’t say the same thing the last time you left my place.”

Shouyou was flabbergasted that not only would something like that would come out of Kuroo’s mouth, but that Tsukishima would not ream him out like he would if Kageyama had made such a thoughtless comment. Tsukishima left the IV room as quickly as he came in, leaving Shouyou to grab the sodium phosphate bags he needed for the intensive care unit with haste. So quickly, in fact, that Shouyou had to trust his muscle memory, and that Inuoka hadn’t decided to change the organizational system in that fridge like he had been talking about at lunch.

Even though Shouyou didn’t actually have to go on the elevator in order to start his deliveries, he couldn’t help but stop where Tsukishima was waiting, the ever-present frown taking on a life of its own. “He shouldn’t be saying stuff like that, especially at work,” Shouyou started.

Tsukishima gave a dark laugh. “We used to date, and he still hasn’t gotten over the fact that we’re no longer a thing.”

Shouyou’s face pulled into the intense gaze that scared everyone during college intramural sports as he looked into Tsukishima’s face. “If he can’t see how much you don’t like those comments, then he’s no good for you.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

Shouyou could feel the frustration boil within him. “You are a good person! If only you could see yourself like I do!”

Tsukishima looked at him with a blank expression on his face. “And how would that be?”

Realizing the hole he had dug himself into, Shouyou responded, “Someone who thinks he’s an asshole, but actually cares enough to be helpful. That’s what I like about you.”

Shouyou started off toward the inpatient wing, his heart pounding within his chest, and found his first machines to fill. It was when he finished that floor that the adrenaline from the conversation had worn off and Shouyou finally realized just what he had revealed to Tsukishima in the elevator foyer. If his body didn’t feel extremely shaky, Shouyou could have seen himself smashing his head against the metal wall segment that held the elevator call buttons.

By the time that Shouyou returned to the dispensary, the monotony of the job had smoothed over the bulk of his anxious reaction. It all started coming back as soon as he opened the door to allow him and his cart entrance into the space. Tsukishima returned not long after, and as he printed off a formula sheet, he threw the work cell phone quickly enough towards Shouyou’s face that he was left fumbling.

“We need more chlorhexidine. Listen for any calls.”

Then Tsukishima left the room for the manufacturing lab, and Shouyou realized how much Tsukishima resembled how he was when Shouyou started at Karasuno. This included the speed at which the taller man could move when he was properly motivated, such as currently being the same room as Shouyou.

Looking at the clock, he saw that there was only one more hour to endure of this torture, which with the frequency that Shouyou seemed to embarrass himself in high school, should be an easy endeavour.

Wordlessly, he left the hospital, waiting until he was off campus before he texted Kenma, _I need some help._

* * *

“So you’re telling me you confessed to the most emotionally constipated person in the hospital, for whom you’ve had the most intense sexual fantasies for the better part of a year?”

Shouyou winced, because he had forgotten how much Kenma hated mincing words.

“Do you remember when I first started, and how my units flooded enough to make the news?”

Kenma turned away briefly from the RPG on the TV screen to face his friend. “What about it? There was a lot going on that week.”

“Tsukishima actually helped me immensely. I had to deal with Bokuto freaking out, and I would not have been able to shut off the machines if he hadn’t been able to slip in and do it. I didn’t even have to ask him to do it, either, he just came with me. He even sprinted through the hallways to reach the units in time.”

Kenma actually dropped his controller at this statement. “He actually ran? The lazy asshole actually _ran?_ ” He laughed at the thought. “I take it back, Shouyou. You have the best chance out of anyone to make Tsukishima into someone sociable.”

Shouyou’s face darkened at the thought of actively changing his coworker’s personality into something it wasn’t. “Is it bad that I don’t want to change him?”

Kenma shoved Shouyou’s shoulder gently. “You just said the right answer. Now it’s a matter of whether he can see it too.”

* * *

To say that there was tension in the dispensary air would have been the biggest understatement of the year behind Kageyama being grumpy and Lev being enthusiastic. Tsukishima seemed resolute in his endeavour to ignore Shouyou’s existence, and while it may have seemed mean to an outside observer, Shouyou was able to understand the taller man in a much different way.  He was able to follow along with his emotions far more easily than he could follow his thought processes.

Still, it took three days of mutual cowardice where there was very little conversation taking place in the dispensary—the exception being Kageyama's intermittent yelling at his email inbox—before someone took action to clear the air. It was at lunch time, when Shouyou set up his assortment of food at a cafeteria table in the corner where he wouldn’t be bothered, that the weird stalemate in his workplace came to a head. As soon as Shouyou opened his bento, he saw Yamaguchi take the chair across from him.

“What the fuck did you do to him?”

Shouyou had rarely seen Yamaguchi angry, let alone angry to the point of cursing, but he couldn’t help but feel a little bit chastised, even if he was a little confused.

“Why are you assuming I had anything to do with it?” Shouyou hissed between his teeth, for once mindful of his surroundings.

Yamaguchi glared back. “He hasn't teased you at all this week. He only teases people he actually likes.”

“I don't know! I said I liked him, he got weird, and now I'm trying to give him space.” Shouyou poked at the eggs in his bento box, suddenly not feeling hungry.

Yamaguchi gave a humourless laugh. “Figures that would be the case.” As Yamaguchi thoughtfully took a bite of his lunch, Shouyou could see the exact moment that his co-worker knew the solution. “Have you seen the new superhero movie yet? It looks really good.”

“No, but I want to see it.”

Yamaguchi smiled a smile that Shouyou would later learn meant trouble.

* * *

Shouyou arrived at the theatre the following weekend, and by the time that he descended the escalators to reach where his coworkers had congregated, he saw that he was the last one to arrive. Yamaguchi seemed excited to see him, Kageyama finally looked like he wasn't about to murder someone's puppy, and Tsukishima looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. Knowing the sheer amount of blackmail material that Yamaguchi had gotten out of Shouyou in just the past week since he had inadvertently confessed to his best friend, Shouyou could only imagine the amount of control Yamaguchi had over his childhood friend.

After Shouyou got his movie ticket and his bucket of popcorn, he felt a light tug on his jacket, Tsukishima urging them to a more quiet section of the lobby, off to the side.

“Did you really mean it?” Tsukishima's voice could barely be heard above the ambient noise in the lobby, even in their quiet corner.

Shouyou pulled back, confused. “Of course I did.”

Tsukishima let out the breath he had been holding. “I'm more than slightly fucked up.”

“It just means you're interesting.” Shouyou couldn't hold back a smile. “Let's get going, I actually want to watch this movie.”

Shouyou led the way back to where Yamaguchi was teasing Kageyama, and after passing in their tickets, entered the theatre itself. Kageyama had strong opinions on movie going rituals, and one of them included showing up obscenely early to pick the seats three rows from the back that faced the exact centre of the screen. As Kageyama rushed on ahead, Shouyou trailed behind, sitting to the right of his friend once he had found a group of four seats that he deemed suitable.

Shouyou had just ridden the seat down to its final position, and as he jerked backwards into comfort, he looked over to find Tsukishima taking up the seat on the other side of him. Shouyou could see in the taller man's eyes that he had a plan, and Shouyou could feel his heart begin to race at what teenaged idea Tsukishima could come up with.

After some good natured teasing between the four of them, the lights dimmed, and Shouyou was working on watching the movie ahead of him. It took about ten minutes for him to decide that Yamaguchi was full of shit, that this movie was horrible, and to not trust the freckles when it came to movie tastes. It was right at the moment when Shouyou started seriously considering walking out of the theatre when he felt Tsukishima's hand run over his.

Suddenly, this movie was the best movie ever, Oscar worthy even. Shouyou felt like a blushing virgin (a hilarious contradiction in terms right there), but Tsukishima's hand steadily explored his right arm, then his thigh, until it settled close to the junction of where his leg met his torso. As Shouyou turned to face Tsukishima. He was thankful that the blond was still watching the action sequence on the screen, and that he was wearing a baggy hoodie which effectively hid how much he was enjoying Tsukishima's touch from Kageyama sitting next to him.

Shouyou lost the ability to judge the passage of time as Tsukishima kept moving his hand everywhere except the sizable tent in his jeans, and was only faintly aware of the growing number of explosions that shook the room as he let out soft ‘waaahs’ and ‘gwaaahs’ at Tsukishima’s ministrations. He tried to find purchase with his hand towards the other's pants, thwarted by a gentle caress of Tsukishima's other hand. Shouyou wasn't sure how much longer he was going to last in this condition.

The orchestral score filled the theatre, and just as the house lights brightened slightly, Shouyou felt bereft as Tsukishima's hands abruptly left him. Instead, he felt the other man lean in to whisper, “We can continue this at my place. Up to you.”

Shouyou's upstairs brain had always been of questionable quality, so having the wherewithal to say no, go home, and have an abysmally short masturbation session that had become all too familiar was not one of his options. As it was, his downstairs brain was screaming “yes”, so that was what came out of his mouth, far too loudly.

If Shouyou thought he was leaving the theatre at top speed, using every bit of athleticism he possessed to power-walk his way into the outdoors, he had nothing on Tsukishima and his six-foot, too-tall legs extending to their fullest power to drag Shouyou along with him. In the end, it was better that Tsukishima could move that much faster, because he lived walking distance in the relatively few blocks between the movie theatre and Karasuno, a much nicer location than Shouyou’s apartment in the outskirts that required a sizable commute by bicycle.

The normally five minute walk turned into a two minute rush, and as soon as they were through Tsukishima’s door, Shouyou hopped onto his body, twining his legs around the taller man’s torso as he pulled his head up at enough of a height to capture him in a kiss to make up for the massive height difference. Tsukishima closed the door and pressed Shouyou up against it in a single, fluid action, and the force of his back making contact left Shouyou moaning as his fantasies paled in comparison. Shouyou’s hoodie came off, and he ran his fingers under the hem of Tsukishima’s shirt in an attempt to match. As Tsukishima shucked his shirt, Shouyou ran his fingers over the lean muscles of the other man. He didn’t have a huge amount of bulk, being on the skinny side, but he was toned, and he shuddered as Shouyou traced the ridges on his abdomen that suggested some measure of working out.

Shouyou got a full demonstration of the surprising strength that Tsukishima possessed, feeling himself being koala-carried to somewhere within the depths of the apartment. He wasn't sure if he was thrown onto the bed, or Tsukishima brought the both of them down just that quickly. Shouyou felt deprived for a moment, but that quickly went away, as he saw Tsukishima make quick work of his jeans.

Feeling emboldened, Shouyou took the single moment that Tsukishima was not in contact with him to sit up, and guide the taller man into a standing position as Shouyou shuffled so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Gently undoing the button keeping Tsukishima's jeans closed, Shouyou couldn't help but give a prayer of thanks to all the deities he could think of as he hooked his hands under boxer briefs and pulled them down.

As much as Shouyou fantasized about being face to face with this particular dick, he was finding that as the evening progressed, fantasy had nothing on reality. Tsukishima was well proportioned, thick without being too long, in Shouyou's ideal category. Shouyou licked a wide stripe on his palm, taking Tsukishima into hand, and gave a few, quick tugs to experiment. Shouyou resisted as Tsukishima tried to push him back onto the bedding. Instead, he looked up at the taller man, and smirked before he dove in.

The first tentative licks across the veiny exterior were greeted with a guttural moan, and with this sound, Shouyou was emboldened with his mission. He wrapped his free arm around Tsukishima's body until his hand settled on bare ass, and began bobbing his head in earnest, his tongue paying extra attention to that spot under the tip that drove Shouyou wild.

Truthfully, there was very little finesse in what Shouyou was giving Tsukishima, as he was too worked up from the movie and being dragged back to the apartment. Still, while Shouyou’s hand pumped Tsukishima's cock in tandem with his mouth, he felt large hands card through his shaggy hair.

The only warnings that Shouyou was given was staccato thrusting into his mouth, a series of moans that lit his blood on fire, and enough tension pulling his hair that there was the very brief thought of baldness. Before he knew it, Shouyou could taste the bitter essence that was Tsukishima, drinking him down like he was stuck in a desert, wasting nothing that Tsukishima could provide.

Tsukishima flopped onto the mattress face-first with enough force that Shouyou momentarily found himself going airborne. He felt a smile cross his face at the sight of Tsukishima's glasses being forced at a weird angle which couldn't be comfortable.

Shouyou took a moment to remove Tsukishima's pants, running his hands along the newly bare skin. With Tsukishima now as naked as Shouyou, he sidled up the bed, slotting himself against the other's body so that Shouyou was level with Tsukishima's ear.

“I have a few ideas,” Shouyou began, speaking softly and deeply, “but they all require condoms and lube. Where could I find them?”

Tsukishima hesitated for just long enough that Shouyou thought that he might have to take care of himself with his own hand. However, after reaching into the nightstand to gather the required supplies, Tsukishima turned around to see Shouyou in his full, turned on glory. The packet and the bottle were dropped haphazardly by the pillow as Tsukishima tackled Shouyou to the mattress. Tsukishima was more gentle than at any other point during the evening, kissing Shouyou languidly as he pressed his knee into Shouyou’s crotch, leaving him no option but to let out a primal moan.

“I thought that you had ideas, shrimp.” Tsukishima's voice went through Shouyou like a bolt of electricity. “Let's see them.”

It wasn't the most favourable position for such a maneuver, but Shouyou found that his short time in judo was far more useful to surprising bed partners into gaining the upper hand than for its intended use, self defense. He hooked his legs behind Tsukishima's, until he had flipped them both over, and Tsukishima was looking up at him from the flat of his back. Shouyou leaned up, took the glasses off Tsukishima's face, and asked, “You'll let me know if you don't like it?” Tsukishima nodded, and for the first time, Shouyou thought he might have seen the other man truly vulnerable.

Picking up the bottle and bringing the packet to a spot where he could more easily reach it when he was ready, Shouyou coated his fingers with the slick lube, giving his fingers a rub in an attempt to warm it up. Placing each of Tsukishima's legs on his shoulders from where they were draped over the side of the bed, Shouyou curled his toes into the carpet as dipped his hand to the other man's hole, tracing gentle circles to gain access.

To Shouyou's surprise, his single finger slipped in easily, and Tsukishima moaned, “More,” as he bucked back onto Shouyou's hand. Shouyou keened in reply, adding more fingers and scissoring Tsukishima open. It was a good thing that Tsukishima was insisting on a brutal pace for his own preparation, because at the soft noises and the faces that he was making, Shouyou knew that he couldn't last for much longer.

“Please tell me you're ready,” Shouyou begged. He was so hard his dick could cut diamonds, he thought. He stroked his fingers upwards, hoping to find that bundle of nerves to make Tsukishima scream. Shouyou knew that he was successful when he saw Tsukishima clutch at the sheets and let out a sound that went straight to his cock.

“Now, please,” Tsukishima begged. Shouyou didn’t have to be told twice. Shouyou reached for the condom, and with minimal fumbling, managed to roll the condom on. Taking a little more lube, he took the opportunity to spread some more over himself, before lining up with Tsukishima's entrance.

It was a painfully slow process as Shouyou held on to Tsukishima's legs for dear life, pushing in as gradually as he could. Tsukishima used whatever leverage he could to take in even more of Shouyou, until finally he was fully seated in him.

Shouyou paused, waiting for a sign that Tsukishima was ready for what was about to happen. He got his signal when Tsukishima pushed hard enough onto Shouyou that he nearly lost his balance, but with a quick change in stance and firming his grip on the legs he was using to stay steady, Shouyou was able to push back.

Shouyou slowly pulled himself out of Tsukishima, until he was nearly popping out. He snapped his hips forward, eliciting a long, breathy, “Hinata.”

With another slow, drawn out thrust, Tsukishima looked Shouyou directly in the eyes, and commanded, “Harder.” Shouyou sped up his thrusts, and Tsukishima's command became a chant, until Shouyou's pace was punishing enough that the yell burrowed deep beneath the gasps threatened to leave his lungs.

It was when Shouyou changed his stance to a more stable one and he rose onto his tiptoes that Tsukishima finally gave up trying to form words, resorting to a frustrated moan punctuated by Shouyou's brisk pace.

“I don't. Think. I can. Hold. On. Much longer.” Shouyou felt the heat curl within him, as the words leave him in fits and spurts.

Tsukishima took that as a sign to take himself in hand, and as Shouyou felt a telltale clench to signal how close Tsukishima was to finishing again, he let out the yell he was suppressing. His hips lost their rhythm, and as Shouyou saw stars, he felt Tsukishima pulse around him as he turned oversensitive.

As Shouyou collapsed onto Tsukishima's torso, the first thing that his mind registered after the tender hug that enveloped him and the gross factor of landing directly in Tsukishima's mess was, that he was the luckiest person in the world. Three hours before, Shouyou had no idea that this was even a possibility. At that current moment, with his limbs humming pleasantly, Shouyou could not imagine anything going wrong.

He was shocked out of his reverie by a flick to the forehead. “Get up, gotta take care of this before it dries.” Tsukishima started to slide himself free from Shouyou's dead weight, prompting the shorter man to leave the bed himself. Tsukishima gingerly made his way to the bathroom, and Shouyou smiled proudly at his handiwork. Tying off the condom, as he went to follow, Shouyou found his legs weaker than expected, finding himself stumbling and needing a wall to stand up properly. He heard a small laugh coming down from the end of the short hallway, and by the time Shouyou's legs started working again, he heard the shower turn on.

Peeking around the corner, Shouyou in awe watched as Tsukishima milled around the bathroom while waiting for the water to warm up. It was the first time that he witnessed Tsukishima looking completely comfortable in his skin, lacking the arrogance and challenging nature that seemed to serve as his armour. By the time that Tsukishima looked through the doorway to where Shouyou stood, he cracked a half-smile, saying, “Coming?”

Shouyou was relieved, in a way, when Tsukishima didn't press for anything energetic. Instead, he focused on the mild-smelling soap they lathered between themselves, the gentle touches they shared, and the hot water streaming over them. As Shouyou looked up, seeing rivulets of water highlighting Tsukishima's body, Tsukishima met his eyes, and asked, “Will you stay tonight?”

Shouyou smiled softly.

“Yeah, I will.”


	2. Kei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima Kei figured out long ago that caring about things only led to pain and suffering. Too bad that Hinata Shouyou didn't get the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the one shot that stuck around in my brain!
> 
> Thanks to [Blueismybusiness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueismybusiness) for helping me keep on track, and making sure this is fit to read.

_You're not good enough._

It was a familiar refrain that echoed through Tsukishima Kei's mind, punctuating his every action. It was the reason Kei was a pharmacy technician instead of a doctor, and at Karasuno General versus Shiratorizawa Infirmary, their sister site that had all the updated technology and dedicated staff. He got a brief reprieve when he beat King-of-the-Techs Kageyama for the single permanent position that became available, leaving the King in brown-nosing hell, but the silence was short lived.

_You're not good enough._

Kei’s mind screamed in protest when Hinata joined their staff as an eager call-in casual. He was struck by how attractive (and short) the other man was, and he couldn't help the words coming out of his mouth.

“We must be really hurting for techs, if they're letting elementary school kids do the work for us.”

Hinata's face turned an entertaining shade of purple, but what surprised Kei the most was that he didn't refute anything, he simply went about his work.

_You're not good enough._

It was on the day that Kei could clearly hear Bokuto's panic attack through the phone as Hinata fielded the call about the flood on his units that they willingly worked together for the first time. What was sprinting for the shorter man was a light jog through the corridor for Kei, and as they reached the floor on the staircase, the stairwell itself had started to resemble a waterfall. With a quick glance, Hinata showed that he was going to deal with Bokuto's meltdown, and Kei decided to search out the three machines on the floor.

His own time as a generalist was coming in handy; even though he was now firmly in charge of the oncology units’ Pyxis machines, it was still ingrained into Kei's bones the locations of all the machines in the hospital. The water was knee deep by the time he was able to reach the switch, and the most efficient course to take to the second machine took him directly under a plume of water coming through the old air ducts.

By the time that he rejoined Hinata and the now-calm Bokuto, the water reached the middle of Kei's thighs, and was approaching the height of Hinata's stomach. Kei had a fleeting thought to huddle together for warmth while practically naked, but his rational mind kicked in and booted that image to the curb. Instead, Kei took a moment to dry the water splatters from his lenses as they made their way back to the pharmacy.

_You're not good enough._

After he returned home and washed the legionella-infected water from his skin, Kei opened up Netflix to turn on Titanic, a departure from his usual viewing of Jurassic Park that always seemed to silence the nagging voice in his head. By the time that Yamaguchi arrived home from dodgeball, the ship had begun to sink, and the water rushing down the stairwells on the screen reminded Kei of his day at work and how the flood highlighted the muscles in Hinata's thighs and how--

“Oooh, this is something different, Tsukki.”

Kei was thankfully broken out of his train of thought by the return of his roommate. “Contrary to what you may believe, I am capable of ‘switching things up.’”

Yamaguchi leaned over the back of the couch that Kei had sprawled across, taking in the sight of the now-vertical ship on the screen. “But why?”

Kei’s mind silently supplied the answer.

_You're not good enough._

* * *

When the nagging voice in Kei's head became too much, when dinosaurs and the dodgeball league that Yamaguchi dragged him to twice a week weren't enough to keep it at bay, he knew that he could find solace in flesh.

That's when he called Kuroo.

His ex-boyfriend seemed allergic to the monogamy that Kei craved, his jealous mind and efficient nature not wanting to spend too much energy to please people. Still, though Kuroo's new relationship was open and Kozume dallied just as much as his partner, Kei died a little more inside each time the other end of the phone answered with a sultry, “Tsukki.”

Kei left a snoring Kuroo on the bed, and after hobbling to the bathroom to clean up in peace, he caught the dark purple of a love bite blooming on his shoulder, and eight finger shaped bruises on his sides from where Kuroo gripped him tightly from behind. All of this would be easy to hide at work, but before he had even left the apartment, Kei's mind chimed in its refrain.

_You're not good enough._

* * *

As morose as Kei's mind could get, it was refreshing to watch Hinata go about his day as a generalist. The day that Kei discovered that Hinata had a pretty decent singing voice was the day that Kei startled the other man while compounding. While Kei did end up wearing whatever Hinata was manufacturing, he let out the first hearty laugh in about a year at the sight of the other man getting himself so much worse and not even realizing it. It happened again when Hinata sat cross-legged on Kageyama's mega sized cart, a giant smile on his face as Kageyama pushed and glided their contraption down an otherwise empty hallway. And again when Hinata and Kageyama loudly argued whether Monday’s chicken wrap concoction was worse than Tuesday’s laughable excuse at pad thai. Kei scoffed from his hiding place, retorting or arguing that Friday’s grilled sandwiches were the worst, and never had good options.

Whatever happened in his life, Hinata’s wide eyes and apparent optimism was a balm on whatever torture Kei’s mind could conjure upon himself.

_You're not good enough._

It was too early on a weekend when he got a text from Tanaka, saying he wasn’t going to be able to come in for his shift, that Kei’s routine was altered irrevocably. Going down the list for a replacement, he quickly ruled out Kageyama because of the sheer amount of foul language that had come through his phone speaker the last time he tried, as well as Yamaguchi because he knew of his date with Yachi and how much he was looking forward to it. Noya and Ennoshita were out simply because they were likely nursing similar hangovers to Tanaka. Kunimi had talked loudly about visiting Kindaichi's parents several towns away, and Kindaichi looked a little green at the thought. This left Kei with a single name as his salvation: Hinata. As he awkwardly asked the other man to come in on his day off, the gravelly, breathy voice made Kei momentarily feel bad about waking him up, but felt a rush of relief when he heard he wasn’t going to be alone.

Kei learned several things about Hinata throughout the day: first, Hinata could turn a simple clarification about how to split their work between floors as top versus bottom innuendo, complete with an adorable stutter. Secondly, Hinata liked Jurassic Park, and liked his unfunny jokes that Yamaguchi now rolled his eyes at. Finally, Hinata was willing to stop in front of elevators that he really didn’t have to stop at after Kuroo made his macho display in the anteroom to let Kei know that he was appreciated, and that he didn’t have to put up with that behaviour.

_You're not good enough._

By the time that Kei returned to the pharmacy, he found Hinata waiting for him to return. With his stomach roiling in protest and anxiety, Kei threw the work phone at Hinata, mumbled something about the manufacturing lab, and left as quickly as he came in. After cautiously looking at the closed door of the lab for a couple of moments to see if he was followed, Kei leaned over the sink and let out the breath he was holding and the remainder of his lunch into the metal basin before him. Opening one of the many bottles of drinking water, he quickly rinsed his mouth as his stomach settled down, and used the cool water from the tap to deal with the blotchiness on his face that started to develop. His stomach continued to protest at the thought of spending alone time with Hinata, and Kei imagined pitying eyes looking up at him. He looked over at the clock to figure out how much time he had to kill to avoid his coworker.

_You're not good enough._

When Kei returned to work a couple days later, his familiar four-word monologue had competition: _You are a good person! If only you could see yourself like I do!_ Kei could see Hinata, passionate and wide-eyed, saying falsehoods in such earnestness that Kei almost believed him. And what made the experience even worse was that the familiar, _you're not good enough_ had gone from being familiar and almost comforting to being almost unbearable.

It was after the second dodgeball practice that Kei skipped that Yamaguchi finally snapped. Kei was laying on their couch, watching Jack and Rose dancing heartily across the screen, when Yamaguchi dumped his gym bag unceremoniously on his friend.

“What the fuck, Yamaguchi?”

“YOU!”

Kei had not seen a righteously angry Yamaguchi since they were in high school, but in the few times that he had messed up royally, it almost made Kei wish that his best friend was not painfully straight, as he made angry look hot.

Pushing the dirty bag of clothes off of him, Kei looked up at Yamaguchi, sullenly retorting, “What?”

“You have to get out of your own way and actually do something, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi took a deep breath before continuing. “I should not know all the words to Celine-fucking-Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’ just because you have a crush and you can’t deal with it.”

Kei stared at Yamaguchi, analyzing his freckly friend’s face for any weakness, and finding none, he threw the bag back at Yamaguchi. “Fine,” Kei begrudgingly agreed, before he took the controller to his Xbox, and with a few clicks of buttons, found himself face to face with Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Pressing play, he heard the yell of frustration escape his roommate’s lips as he walked away. “Nineties movies don’t count as healing.” A door slammed in the distance, then quickly opened again. “Especially bad ones!”

* * *

Kei found himself delightfully solitary until it came time to eat lunch the following day. Lately, Yamaguchi had been eating his lunches with Yachi, the cancer clinic’s main secretary, but Kei was unpleasantly surprised to find his best friend had taken the space across from him in the cozy booth that was beside the aquarium filled with guppies. Yamaguchi was smiling happily, but his eyes glinted with the beginnings of a plan.

“What?” Kei tonelessly replied to his friend in hopes that by engaging he would be spared the worst of Yamaguchi’s hare-brained schemes.

“Well, there’s a new superhero movie coming out--”

“No.”

“You’re not even letting me finish! Just because it’s not Con Air--”

“Nicholas Cage’s hair is glorious in that movie.”

Yamaguchi cradled his forehead in his hand, taking a few deep breaths before continuing.

“You know, if you don’t come to the movie on Friday, I’ll let Hinata know that you thought Jurassic Park was real until you were seven.”

Kei blanched. “You wouldn’t.”

Yamaguchi grinned evilly. “I would.”

* * *

It was Friday night, and Kei found himself in the basement of the mall closest to Karasuno, which was also conveniently housed the closest theatre to his apartment. He looked over at the fountain, wondering how quickly he could get his head under the water to rid himself of his torment before Yamaguchi noticed he was gone. He knew for a fact that Kageyama didn’t give a shit about him, so there would be no worries about him thwarting plans. He didn’t have time to wonder for long, as Yamaguchi started waving towards the escalator where Hinata was beaming with happiness as he approached the group.

After a few greetings, Hinata broke away to buy his ticket to the dumpster fire of a movie that Yamaguchi had chosen. Kei waited off to the side, and once he saw Hinata absently looking around, he approached the shorter man, and gently tugged on his sleeve. With a quick jerk of his head, Kei motioned out towards the larger, more quiet section of the lobby, where Hinata was quick to follow.

With significantly more quiet surroundings, Kei asked, almost under his breath, “Did you mean it?”

It took Hinata a moment to answer, but his face was soft, if confused as he did. “Of course I did.”

Kei felt his heart pound in his chest as he let out the breath he had forgotten he was holding. “I’m more than slightly fucked up.” _The understatement of a century,_ Kei thought.

Hinata shrugged. “It just means that you’re interesting.” Suddenly, a smile grew across Hinata’s chubby cheeks, and Kei’s pulse quickened. “Come on, I actually want to watch this movie.”

Kei could only wonder at how he had begun to fall for someone who seemed to be so stupid.

Once darkness fell on where they were sitting in the theatre, Kei was not pleased to find that every online review about the movie was right. He would have left ten minutes in, except that Yamaguchi was cutting off his potential escape route. His long-time friend was thoroughly engrossed by the mind numbing action sequences, despite the fact that all three of the other men were thoroughly bored.

Distracting himself from the horrible movie playing in front of him, Kei reached out tentatively to stroke Hinata’s hand, feeling emboldened at the almost imperceptible sight of Hinata lifting his chin to feel the pleasure more fully. Pushing his hand further, he ran his hand along the inside of Hinata’s thigh until he heard a sound like a soft “gwaaah” escape from Hinata’s lips. Kei looked towards Kageyama, who was looking resolutely towards the helicopter crashing on the screen in front of them.

It was slow, it was agonizing, and if Kei were home and this were Netflix, the movie would have been turned off a half hour ago in favour of what they both really wanted, if the soft sounds Hinata were making were any clear indication. As it was, they were in public, and Kageyama was definitely pretending there were no shenanigans going on in the seat next to him, the white light of the explosions revealing a flush on his face. Kei continued his ministrations, controlled and teasing, batting away the hands reaching over to reciprocate.

Just as Kei thought that Hinata couldn’t last any longer, the house lights grew more bright, and Kei took his hands away. Kei leaned in just far enough to whisper over the sweeping orchestral score, “We can continue this at my place. Up to you.”

Kei didn’t think he had been pulled out a seat more quickly in his life. He caught Yamaguchi’s amused look as Hinata pulled him past his seat at top speed. Kei used the length of his legs to gain control over the situation, keeping up with the excited Hinata being quite a chore. Without breaking stride, Kei looked at his phone, fresh from buzzing with Yamaguchi’s text.

**Yamaguchi: [2055] lol i guess i’m sleeping over at yachi’s tonight.**

Kei sighed with relief as he quickly texted back.

**Me: [2055] thx**

With renewed interest, Kei lightly jogged until he was in front of Hinata, and within a short amount of time, they were in front of Kei's apartment door. With a miraculously low amount of fumbling with keys, Kei opened the door, finding himself accosted as soon as he crossed the threshold.

As Hinata tightened his legs around Kei's waist to give himself more leverage in order to capture the taller man in what quite possibly was the hottest kiss of his life, Kei used Hinata's body to close the door. The smack of Hinata's back hitting the particle board behind him elicited a loud moan, and he returned with almost-tender touches that briefly touched Hinata’s skin before he roughly removed the baggy hoodie and the shirt underneath until the smaller man was bare.

Kei barely had time to take in the sight before him before Hinata started skimming his fingers to the boundary of where Kei’s shirt met his jeans. Hinata’s petite features were dwarfed by his own lanky body, complete with gangly limbs, a giraffe-like neck, glasses with lenses thick enough to be taken from the bottom of glass bottles, and a crater in his chest big enough to make long-distance running a pain and nuisance. Pulling his shirt over his own head, Hinata lightly ran his hand over newly-bared skin, awe making his eyes shine.

Cradling Hinata within his arms, Kei carried him towards his bedroom, and upon arrival, threw the both of them onto the bed with little resistance to the natural gravitational pull of the earth. Kei unbuttoned Hinata’s jeans, freeing himself from the other’s hold momentarily as he pulled on pants and underwear, removing them in one motion.

The moment’s hesitation where Kei took in the sight of Hinata's newly naked and aroused body sitting on the edge of the bed was enough for Hinata to go on the offensive. Before Kei could register what was happening, Hinata was there, giving his palm a dramatic lick. As Kei was surrounded by a moist grip, he moved to push Hinata onto the bed, but was stopped by a slight push to keep Kei upright as he pushed down Kei's jeans just enough to get access to what he wanted.

Hinata looked hungrily in front of him, mumbled something incomprehensible, and licked along Kei's length. By the time that Hinata reached the tip, it took everything Kei had to keep steady as Hinata burrowed his tongue under the ridge by the head. The sound escaping from Kei's lips seemed to spur Hinata on, even if it momentarily felt like it came from someone else.

As Hinata messily worked his cock between his mouth and his hand, Kei could only look at the sight in front of him. He was lucky that Hinata's arm had snaked around to grope him, because that extra pressure served to steady Kei's stance. Still, he was at the mercy of whatever Hinata could come up with for ideas, but if they all were like this, Kei was not going to question Hinata's intelligence any more. Not feeling confident in being able to manage anything more than a moan, Kei ran his fingers though Hinata's hair in encouragement.

As the pressure in his groin grew, Kei couldn't help but shallowly thrust himself further into Hinata's waiting mouth. The hand working the base of Kei's length blocked the movement from going deeper than Hinata could handle, but as Hinata took more of him in, he felt the rougher back of the tongue hit that spot under the ridge separating the head from the main shaft, and Kei was gone. His vision narrowed as a long moan escaped his lips, and Kei was faintly aware of thrusting, hands gripping hair and the sensation of swallowing around him until he was boneless.

It seemed that the little bastard knew when Kei would become oversensitive, and removed his mouth at the first twinges of discomfort. It was once Hinata removed his hands that Kei felt himself pitch forward, and before he knew it, he was face down on the bed. The beginnings of sleep had begun to wash over him, but were interrupted by the gentle removal of the Kei's pants still stuck around his knees.

Sleep didn't come to him, and it didn't have anything to do with the awkward way Kei's glasses were smushed into the mattress. It was the way that Hinata draped himself around Kei, and as he wrapped his leg around Kei's waist, Kei could feel just how interested the other man was. Hinata’s insatiable nature was almost enough for Kei to spring back to life. Almost.

Kei felt Hinata's hot breath in his ear, and it took him a bit to register what the shorter man had insinuated, but a deepened voice combined with the words “condoms”, “lube”, and “ideas” had Kei reaching into his nightstand. When Kei turned around with the requested items, he took in the slight flush that encompassed the majority of Hinata's body, the rumpled hair from when Kei had played with it, and finally the look of utter awe on Hinata's face as he took in the sight of Kei on the bed.

The supplies were dropped in favour of Kei tackling Hinata to the mattress. The action served to silence that inner voice that squashed his dreams and dragged him back into harsh reality, even if it was only momentarily. Kei took Hinata into his arms, easily covering his body as he brought Hinata into a long, leisurely kiss. In his own way, Kei thanked Hinata for the relatively angst-free evening inside his own mind.

When the worst of the sensitivity had worn off, and Hinata’s fingers tried to claw at Kei's back, Kei took the opportunity to lean in towards Hinata's ear to remind him, “I thought you had ideas, shrimp. Let's see them.”

Before Kei could blink, he found himself looking up at his rather nondescript ceiling. It didn't take him long to find Hinata, who was already reaching for Kei's glasses to set them aside. Just as the world turned blurry, Kei’s legs moved to rest on something solid and warm, and heard a small, “You'll let me know if you don't like it?” The only thing Kei could do was nod in agreement.

This was a new experience for Kei. Sex was fun, but it always seemed selfish and that connection that movies seemed to make a lot of money on was never something he had experienced. But as Hinata's cold, slick finger entered him easily, he realized that whatever was going on between him and Hinata had already surpassed whatever fleeting connection he had to Kuroo.

“More,” Kei moaned, pushing the wall behind him as he bore down on Hinata's hand.

Hinata whimpered as he added another finger, and after a very short while, Hinata surrendered. “Please tell me you're ready.” Kei heard the half sob in Hinata's voice. Before Kei could respond, Hinata had reached that spot within him that made him see stars, clutch at the sheets, and forced the neediest sound out of his mouth.

“Now, please,” Kei practically sobbed, and he heard the tell-tale crinkling of packaging, and the wait was mercifully short before he felt Hinata poised at his entrance. Even though Hinata was not the largest that Kei had ever experienced, it was still an uncomfortable feeling that reminded Kei of his place in the world. Hinata was moving forward, gradually, painfully slow, and as the burning stretch turned into something far more pleasurable, Hinata's fingers gripped his thighs to the point where he would not be surprised to find bruises near his knees in the morning. Bracing his hands against the wall, Kei bore down, reveling in the sensations until his hips met Hinata's.

Kei looked in the direction he thought Hinata’s face was, and tried to imagine the look on the other man's face in the moment. He heard the uneven breaths of being overwhelmed, and Hinata's fingers curling so that he scraped his fingernails along Kei's leg in an attempt to stay still. Kei scoffed, and used his strength to push downward with enough force that Hinata scrambled to stay standing.

Kei learned that while Hinata lacked some of the book knowledge to make him a powerhouse of a tech at work, he was miles above Kei in reading people, especially as he withdrew and thrust back in with such strength that Kei felt electricity run through the core of his being. Kei moaned Hinata's name, and when the shorter man hit the apex of his movement, Kei used the opportunity of relative proximity to guess where Hinata's eyes were with greater accuracy.

“Harder,” Kei commanded.

There was a slight whimper that escaped from Hinata's lips before Hinata started to give Kei what he wanted. Kei's command became a mantra, and Hinata's speed increased to the point where his breathing shallowed, and Kei was faintly aware of a soft, primal sound that punctuated each thrust. With a pause and a small shuffle, Hinata began again, seemingly taller from Kei's vantage point.

The new angle made words impossible. With every punishing thrust, Hinata was hitting the spot that radiated electricity down his legs and up his spine. Kei clenched at the sensation, and he was certain that if it was not for Hinata sucking his soul through his dick not long before this interlude, he would have come right then and there. As it was, Kei could only moan in frustration at the sensations as he waited for Hinata to finish.

With significant effort, Hinata was able verbally signal how close he was to completion. Kei took himself in hand, and his imagination filled in the blurry blanks of the slowing thrusts. Just as the needed pressure built up under his balls, Kei felt a couple of half-hearted thrusts before he felt Hinata pulse into him. As he came, Hinata assaulted Kei's eardrums with a yell that seemed to permeate every fiber of his being, and it was enough that Kei was able to finish again, as if he was brought back to his hormonal teenage years.

Hinata collapsed onto Kei's stomach, getting a chest full of Kei's spunk. His gaze was glassy, and his smile was blissed out, and before Kei could willingly command his limbs, he found himself hugging Hinata's back, and anchoring him to the spot with his legs. Even though he would have liked to share the moment for a little longer, the disconcerting feeling of cum crusting over forced Kei to test his legs’ ability to work, so that he could begin the process of cleaning.

He gave Hinata's forehead a flick in order to be freed from the bed, and Kei hobbled towards the bathroom, the burning ache reminding him of the strength and stamina that Hinata hid behind a petite frame and a brilliant smile. By the time Kei finally reached the bathroom, he took a moment to take stock of his potential injuries. Poking and prodding at himself, he was able to determine that he was not bleeding, and that bruising would be limited to tiny dots on his inner thighs that matched where Hinata held on for dear life.

Kei's thoughts were interrupted by a loud thump against the wall, and he could clearly imagine Hinata stumbling into the wall, and felt faintly proud. Relaxing a little, Kei continued his post-sex routine, turning on the shower, and organized his products while he waited for the water to reach his desired temperature. He had a brief flash of a memory where Yamaguchi complained about the exorbitant heating bill, where Kei had retorted that something had to melt the ice block that was his heart. In retaliation, Yamaguchi had blasted the catchiest, annoying songs he had compiled over the years just for this purpose.

Kei snapped out of his reverie by the sight of a shock of orange hovering at the doorway. He couldn't see Hinata's face clearly, but judging by the angle of his face, he was peering around the corner, doing his best to not intrude. With his hand on the shower wall, ready to enter the warm stream of water just beyond, Kei felt his face pull into a smirk.

“Coming?”

At the invitation, Hinata padded over, following Kei behind the curtain and into the hot water beyond. It was nice, huddling closely under the water, without the expectation of anything strenuous. Between the water streaming down and Hinata's soft, soapy touches, Kei felt himself relax more than he had in years, and before he knew it, Kei felt the words come out of his mouth.

“Will you stay tonight?”

Kei couldn't see Hinata's face nearly, despite the fact that they were as physically close as they could possibly be under the circumstances. What he could feel was Hinata reaching up to gently stroke his hand across Kei's stubbly face as he answered, “Yeah, I will.”

It took far more bending than Kei strictly wanted to do, but he cradled Hinata's head as he captured the other man in a kiss. As Hinata draped his arms over Kei's shoulders and pushed himself up on his tiptoes, Kei clearly imagined a trip to the Shiratorizawa emergency room, Karasuno lacking their own. Breaking the kiss, Kei reached behind him to turn off the shower. After drying off quickly, Kei led them back to his room, actually went under the covers, and promptly fell asleep with Hinata's weight against him and soft breathing on his neck.

* * *

_Kei faced the washed out colours of Karasuno, except the Karasuno of reality was so colourful it was often clashing, as if the person in charge of keeping up with the paint left their design sensibilities in the worst part of the seventies. He immediately recognized it as the beginning of his recurring nightmare from before Hinata had walked into his life, and dread marked his every step as he unwillingly walked the halls of the hospital. The elevators still had the distinct worn spot leading to the panel, and as he found himself in the inpatient wing, the stairwell’s walls still sported the bare putty from when maintenance barely fixed the water damage from the flooded units, almost a year ago._

_He opened a door, and as Kei turned the corner through the deserted transplant unit, he found himself looking down the long hallway, until he saw the sterile room door nearly a hundred feet away. The distance melted away as he found arms and legs wrapped around him, and as Kei looked around to figure out who he was giving a piggy back ride to, he immediately recognized the hands that matched the bruises on his legs._

_As Kuroo appeared in the window, Kei felt Hinata's breath against his ear. “He's not good for you.” Hinata's voice was deeper than normal, gravelly and slurred as if he had been freshly awakened. Suddenly, Kei found himself by the pharmacist's wicket, the editing room empty except for a single computer showing his own hospital profile. The monitor was close to the glass opening of the wicket -- too close, as this would be a breach of confidentiality if this were real -- and Kei saw that he was admitted to Johzenji, the psychiatric wing attached to Shiratorizawa._

_Kei saw a flash of movement through the window, and as he turned, Kuroo had turned his back and had begun to walk away. The arms and legs surrounding him were gone, and as Kei opened the unlocked door, Kuroo spun around, wearing business casual clothing as if the oncology pharmacist himself were spending the day entering orders or counselling patients on the floor, instead of working in the chemo room._

_“Why are you following me, Tsukki?”_

_The look on Kuroo's face was sad, almost pitying._

_“I'm not, I just always find myself here.”_

_Kei watched the Cheshire-like grin grow across Kuroo's face to proportions far larger than was normally possible._

_“Why are you following me, when you have him?”_

* * *

Kei woke with a start. The sticky sheen of sweat was especially bad along his right side where he remembered Hinata laying, and he felt a suspicious wetness in the corner of his eyes that felt faintly of tears. If it wasn't for the pull of overused muscles radiating from his backside, Kei might have thought that Hinata's presence the night before was a far more satisfying dream than the nightmare he had of Kuroo. As Kei looked around his apartment for Hinata, the line of clothing that led the way from the front door to the bedroom was missing, leaving Kei to assume the worst.

Hinata was gone, and Kei's brain protested harder than it had in a long time.

_You're not good enough._

* * *

As the days turned into weeks, Kei mostly kept to himself. He was thankful that Yaku and Kai were heavy into their pharmacy clinical rotations, because facing Kuroo was not something that he wanted to do. He wasn't blind-- he could see the pitying looks that were shot in his direction when people thought he wasn't looking. It didn't matter what people were saying, Kei simply put his head down and let people gossip.

If only that were true. Kei looked at his best friend, the chief gossip of them all, and as the look of immediate pity turned into disgust and anger over the intervening weeks, the loneliness that Kei felt burned within his chest as Yamaguchi avoided his gaze. He wasn't sure when he could fix it, as his roommate had not been home in over a week, but Kei missed their sessions of trash talking the pharmacy and keeping up with events without the effort of talking to anybody.

The worst was Hinata. He was saddened when Hinata had given him a million watt grin, which had Kei clutching his chest at how attractive the other man was. Kei didn't pay it any mind that Hinata remained friendly at work: he had personally seen the smaller man be friendly to Daishou, the ICU head nurse, in person and then curse his existence once back in the safety of the pharmacy. That smile directed at Kei faded into shy curiosity, then to a puzzled frown, until it had degraded into the intense glare Kei was now receiving. Kei wasn't sure why Hinata had been smiling at him in the time directly after their failed interlude, but he certainly felt responsible for the current situation.

Kei went into the manufacturing lab to check on whether a fresh batch of magic mouthwash was finished when Hinata finally broke. Kei was rounding the corner of the island with his arms over-full of bottles to cart across the hall when he heard the beeping of someone entering their code, and watched as Hinata burst through the door.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

As Hinata approached Kei, Kei was struck by how Hinata didn't yell with volume, but rather a tone of voice which made Kei suddenly worry about how constricting his pants were. It was miraculous that Kei didn't drop any of the bottles, because cleaning up several litres of gross mixture was not his idea of fun. The coarse language that came out of Hinata's mouth practically confirmed that Hinata had been spending time the majority of his time with Kageyama in the time that Kei had been avoiding him.

Kei moved to get out of Hinata's warpath. He would not admit to being a coward most of the time, but his body slumped and he tried to get smaller in response to Hinata's fury. “I thought you didn't want to be around me?.” Kei's voice came out smaller than he wanted.

“Don't you think I get a say in all of this?” Hinata looked up at Kei, who was backed up against the betadine, officially cornered. There was a fire in Hinata's eyes that matched the colour of his hair. “I think I'm capable of deciding who is worth my time, thank you.”

Kei’s face flushed at the sight of a righteously angry Hinata wanting to save him from his own mind. Hinata’s face softened at the look on Kei's face. “I was giving you space because you seemed like you needed it.” Hinata stepped in, placing his hand on Kei's chest. “You'll let me know if you need more time? I can't read your mind, you know.”

Kei shuffled the two dozen bottles around in his arms, the amber plastic squeaking slightly as he shifted in discomfort. “You’ll let me know if you leave early again?” Kei could pinpoint the exact moment when Hinata finally understood. It was slightly delayed, but as Kei saw the thoughts visibly churn in Hinata's brain, he was reminded of all the careless mistakes and backtracking he watched the other man make in the course of a day, and Kei realized was to combat his absent-mindedness. By the time they both made their revelations, any amount of fury that lingered had evaporated.

“I should probably give you my number.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Kei briefly took in Hinata's annoyed face before letting out a laugh. His comment had no venom to it, but it was still nice to see Hinata react.

Before Kei knew it, he was pulled down by the neck for a kiss. Just as Kei jerked away, he thought he heard rustling from the other side of the lab. “Not here,” Kei said.

“Then give me your phone.”

Kei twisted just enough that the phone jammed in his pocket was more accessible for Hinata to grab. Taking the hint, Hinata found Kei's phone without security, and after a few quick keystrokes, he heard a tell tale buzz coming from somewhere on Hinata.

With his phone jammed back into his pocket, Kei walked towards the door and silently indicated that Hinata should open it. As he obliged, Hinata questioned, “That's a lot to carry over all at once.”

They both made their way diagonally across the hall to where the main pharmacy was situated. “You must have stubby arms.”

As Hinata walked backwards to face Kei, “They work well enough.” Hinata paused to swipe at the keypad. “What would you have done if I hadn't come over?”

With a click, the door unlocked, and Hinata pulled it open to allow Kei entry. Kei quickly located the cart that Kageyama often parked near the door, and dumped his arm load gracelessly across the surface. “Probably wither and die. The usual.”

While Hinata and Kei organized the magic mouthwash on top of the cart, they continued to banter in a similar fashion. Out of the corner of his eye, Kei saw the flabbergasted look on Yamaguchi’s face, followed by both Kunimi and Kindaichi trying to hide their curiosity. Knowing that his brain would freak out if he focused on his co-workers’ reactions, Kei turned his attention towards Hinata excitedly chatting to him, his animated expressions adding flavour to the story he was telling. He thought, in time, that he could get used to this kind of camaraderie.

* * *

By the time that Kei arrived home, the restlessness lingering from his confrontation Hinata earlier on that day had settled deeply into his bones, and he immediately knew that a passive activity like watching movies was out of the question. Instead, he turned on the Xbox and selected a relatively mindless game to play, one that he often played with Yamaguchi as they slaughtered demon hordes as a team. It hurt that Kei had not spoken with his roommate and best friend in weeks due to his own social ineptitude, but he swept those feelings off to the side as he focused on the minutiae of inventory management.

It was good that he had picked a game that he could play while distracted, because as Kei picked off one big bad after another, he found himself picking apart his encounter in the lab. There was more than one instance where Kei found himself attacking the ground, his army of minions having taken care of the horde long ago. Still, as he thought about it more, the less he wanted to let the feelings go into oblivion.

For the first time in years, Kei wanted something for himself.

He was several quests in when Kei heard the sound of a key jiggling the lock, and Yamaguchi brushing the precipitation off of him in their entryway. With a quick press of a button to pause the game, Kei turned around on the couch to more easily face the door. “You're home.”

It had gotten into their friendship dynamic somewhere along the way where Yamaguchi would say something cheeky, Kei would call him out for it, and then it would be followed up by the least convincing apology ever. Today, Yamaguchi scratched at his neck nervously with one hand as he brought forward the offering of takeout food. Kei recognized the non-descript bags that his favourite restaurant used, and when he rifled through the contents, he confirmed his suspicion. “You look like you've lost weight, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi explained.

Kei heard the unspoken, _and you can't afford to lose any,_ but he appreciated the sentiment and laid out the peace offering gladly. As Kei opened the small dessert box containing a single slice of strawberry shortcake, he saw the placard stuck on top written in Yamaguchi's messy scrawl, saying, “Congratulations on growing a pair!” Kei set out the food for the both of them, made a dramatic face at the card for Yamaguchi's benefit, and Yamaguchi retrieved the dusty second controller and jumped into the game Kei had quickly paused.

Yamaguchi started the process of flicking through the character screens to re-familiarize himself with equipment and skills. “So… you and Hinata? Are you really prepared to deal with that? When we went paddle boarding at the lake last summer, he was excited to finally ‘go waterboarding.’”

Kei tried to hold back the sniggers, but to no avail. This was exactly what he missed about Yamaguchi.

“He's pretty, he's entertaining, and ready to put up with my shit.” Kei moved his character forward on the screen. “If I'm forced to be the brains, then I could really do worse.”

Kei caught the sly smile on his friend's face out of the corner of his eye. “Like Kuroo.”

“Fuck off, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry Tsukki.”

* * *

Most days, Kei could handle the bustling cafeteria as he took his breaks, provided he blocked out the sound with his headphones. However, there were some days, usually the ones involving Kuroo being one of the clinical pharmacists on his units, being surrounded by music wasn't enough, and he made his way to the pharmacy warehouse in the basement.

The warehouse held the appeal of being mostly uninhabited. Judging from the Dutch door that connected the inner room to the main shelving area, it was the original site of the pharmacy when the first building of the aging complex was new. However, due to the frequency of seeing rodents skittering through the aisles and the general state of disrepair, most people were disgusted by the place and actively avoided going in.

Kei took his regular perch on top of the pallet of thawed ice packs, and he watched as a brown mouse sniffed at the base of the pallets at the other end, looking for whatever mice look for. The door jamb released with a loud clunk, and he heard the intruder pad into the inner room. It ended up being Hinata, who was loudly singing a stupidly catchy song that went viral several months back, and Kei smiled at the lack of shame that he possessed.

By the time Hinata had rounded the corner to gather some auxiliary labels, Kei saw the full bin of spare cubies for the Pyxis machines that he was carrying. It took Hinata a few moments before noticing Kei in his spot, bento perched on his lap.

“Hey!” Hinata called out, making his way over to where Kei was sitting. “I was wondering where you had gone.”

“I come here when people become too annoying.” Kei caught Hinata's eyes widen in fear. “Not you,” he corrected. _Never you,_ his mind supplied.

Before Kei could process the fact that his mind, for once, was being moderately helpful in this situation, he saw Hinata's relieved smile, before it turned devious.

“No.” Kei felt like he had to nip this train of thought in the bud. “You're incorrigible.”

Kei packed up his bento, and made his way to the door. Hinata lightly jogged until he had caught up with Kei, near the open door of the warehouse. “Where are you going?”

“I'm going to the cafeteria to eat my lunch. I don't want people to think that we're using here as our love nest while we're at work. I've seen people get fired for that.” Kei looked down at Hinata, who was looking worried. “But, they can't say anything about us eating lunch in public. We'll just leave the kinky stuff to the bedroom.”

Kei watched as the gears turned in Hinata's brain while they walked down the narrow corridor. Hinata had reached stairwell that led easily to the pharmacy before the moment of realization broadcast across his face. The relieved smile that Hinata directed at him emboldened Kei, and he leaned in.

“If you're good today, I can reward you for your patience after work.”

Kei took a few steps towards the cafeteria not immediately looking back at where he left Hinata. He was almost at the elevator lobby when he turned, he saw Hinata's face slightly flushed, and his eyes glimmering with ideas before rushing up the worn stairs to deposit his load in the pharmacy.

Finding the cozy booth with the aquarium surprisingly empty, Kei set out his small bento onto the table before looking at the guppies swimming blissfully around. Under normal circumstances, Kei's mind would have rebelled, and reminded him of his place as unlovable in this time spent alone. Instead, the only thoughts distracting him from the sight of fish lips eating algae off the rocks were the ones where Hinata was at the core.

Hinata broke Kei out of his brooding, taking the seat across from Kei far more quickly than expected, completely out of breath. Maybe, Kei thought as he smiled, he did have something to look forward to.


End file.
